counting the days.

Im disappointed, feel like someone just slapped me.

I feel like punishing myself too, for not listening. I promise, Im gonna listen very carefully from now on.

I know that You've got plans for me, but I just can't bring myself to face the disappointment. It's even worse than I thought.

Dear God,

Im so sorry that I've slacked so much these past few months. Im sorry that I always ignore you even when Im free, and that I always find excuses. Silly excuses. Im so sorry that I wasted your effort on me, when you provided me with so much resources and they all went down the drain. Im powerless and not worthy of anything, just a speck of dust. I do know that you gave me life, but I've deviated so much, that I felt like Im nothing but a walking corpse.

This is a mistake I made, and it costs me so much because I didn't want to listen, always thinking that Im better off without help from outside. But Im wrong, as I have always been. This time I admit my mistakes, and I decided to take a leap of faith, to trust that You will work out something for me. For you know about my future, and my all is in You alone.

Thank you for never forsaking me, even though your daughter ignored your calling. Im very sorry, and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I do mean what I said. I pray that I'll never repeat the same mistakes again, and that you will lead me on from now, till i breathe my last breath.

I give you all the praises. In Jesus' name.

Amen.